Pellet of Mussar: My Yoetzet

 I've been told to use her business counsellor in order to help my practice gain some speed. I don't regret this decision. Not only did I improve my income, without compromise on the quality of my homeopathic services, but also it helped with my children's education. Here's how.

In our generation (in truth it's been like that for a few hundred years now), children, even small children, think of themselves as small adults. Hard to educate somebody who thinks he knows it all already, parents look like tyrants trying to guide their children in the right path. Children close themselves off chas v sha-lom and then who knows which road they'll take? So this great rebbe, Kolomynus Shapira, told the parents in his book on education, how to approach the child.

Tell the child he's the boss, he's the one deciding about his life. You, as a parent, you're there to guide him, give him advice as per needed, not to impose anything on him. That's where my yoetzet comes in. I pay her, not as much as she deserves but it's not a free service. So I now tell my children, you're in the business of serving Hashem, and like all business managers you need advice, guidance, etc. Father and I are here for that, and we do it for free. You can ask us anything, we'll try to give you the more appropriate advice for your situation, we're here for you. And it won't cost you a thing. They respond to that. They feel understood as in charge of their own lives, nobody's there to take over in the driver seat... "ani nehag" boy do they like to say this "ani nehag" when they play. They're in charge. We're just guiding them.

So thanks for my yoetzet to give me an example my children can relate to: my business is to make their business grow. I'm waiting on the sideline for when they need some help, they just reach out to me or their father, we're all in this together.